When I first thought of this question my mind immediately went to supercars like the McLaren or the Enzo. But then I realized something, do I really have the skill to drive one of these cars on a racetrack? The answer is no. Sure I could drive it around the track and I would have a blast doing so I am sure but most likely I would spend a good amount of spinning and out in the grass.

I then moved down a notch. I gave the Viper some thought as it has always been a favorite of mine but it’s not the worlds best handler and once again I have a feeling I’d spend a lot of time in the dirt. I considered the Z06 as well but… meh.

I then started thinking about cars that handle really well and are quick, not super fast, but quick. Cars like the Lotus Exige. It was when I started thinking more along these lines that I came up with my answer. It’s actually a pretty obvious one if you know me well.

I would choose the Ariel Atom. But, I would not go for the supercharged version, I’d stick with NA. I’d want a car that I could drive hard and not be scared silly. I also love that the Atom is basically made for the track and is pretty much a street legal race car. If you watched the video of the Atom that I posted a few weeks ago when I chose the Atom as the COTW you will also have a better idea of why I would love to drive one (take note though, the one they tested is supercharged).

Crawford’s Answer

After about 30 minutes of thinking about the answer, mulling over a couple different cars, and struggling with which direction to go it suddenly dawned on me…and the choice was obvious. But first a couple words on my other choices…

A Lotus Exige S was very high on the list. From what I’ve read it’s got amazing handling and obviously accelerates like a bat out of hell. It’s a Lotus…it’s created to be on the racetrack. The Ariel Atom came to mind too…sure it’s little, doesn’t have a ton of power, and…well…has no body panels…but what a blast it would be. That lead me to think about real road/race cars…machines that are street legal (and I’m assuming we are talking street legal cars here) but are used in racing. The GT40 is high on that list…

But then it came to me like a bolt from heaven. There is a fairly famous video out there of an amazing car being thrown around a racetrack. The driver is a god and any car nut who’s seen the video dreams of driving a machine like this one on a track like…

OK, so here is the video.

And the car…

1987 Ruf CTR Yellowbird

3040 lbs, 3.6L turbo, 469 hp/408 lb-ft, 0-62 in 4.0 seconds

I don’t really need to say anymore. Watch the video. You will understand.

Crawford’s Answer

Mary came up with this question and I think it’s a great one. It’s something I’ve never thought about before she mentioned it and I’ll be completely honest…I’m really struggling with an answer. Part of me wants to go with something deep and meaningful…but another part of me wants to go with something silly…or cool…or really creepy and strange.

Of course whatever it is I’m teaching I would have to have a PhD in so that makes the choice all the more critical. And the more I think about it the more I realize that I wouldn’t want to be some stogy old Philosophy professor that wears tweed jackets or a freakishly brilliant math professor that is mildly insane…or even a very wacky physics professor with wild hair who talks with his hands all the time.

So what would I choose?

A certain movie comes to mind. It’s about 3 professors who get kicked out of school. They’ve never had a real job before but their knowledge, their wit and yes…their wisdom…leads them on wonderful adventures that make them the talk of the town.

Of course I am talking about Dr. Peter Venkman, Dr. Raymond Stantz, and Dr. Egon Spengler…also known as The Ghostbusters.

But that doesn’t count in my mind. They taught but aren’t teachers. They bust ghosts and that’s a whole other story.

So…I must choose. And suddenly a light bulb goes off in my mind. There was another great professor. He had truly wonderful adventures. He was smart…brilliant perhaps. But he was also tough. He saw the world. His students loved him and deservedly so for he not only taught his subject…he LIVED his subject.

And that is why I would want to be a Professor of Archeology…

I would want to be…

Indiana Jones.

Moe’s Answer

I was an Art major in college. During that time period there was a stretch where I really considered getting my masters in Art and becoming a college professor.

In my experience, I had a much closer relationship with my Art professors than I did with most of my other professors. I had so many lecture hall classes that had well over a hundred students in them. I know that in those classes I never, not even once, spoke to my teacher one on one. I can’t imagine that being at all enjoyable, granted, these professors probably had grad students that they worked with on a much more intimate basis but still, I think that would totally suck.

I knew all my art professors very well, I had conversations with all of them on a one on one level on a weekly basis. I am sure I wasn’t special either, I’d be willing to bet that their relationship with their students was like this with 90% of the people in their classes.

On a different note, on a stereotypical basis, the kids who are majoring in art tend to be a little more unique and… how to put this… colorful. To me that would be great, teaching a bunch of kids who want to be business clones and little worker bees would drive me nuts. There were also very few frat boys (sorry Crawford) in the art department which was a plus in my book.

So my answer is an Art professor, since my emphasis was in Metals that would be what I would teach.

The question for this week is: Describe your perfect personal portable electronic devices. There is some degree of “fantasy” leeway here but it can’t be a piece of paper that unfolds into a laptop PC. In other words the laws of physics still apply but there is no rule against predicting future technology. At the same time maybe it’s missing something simple and low-tech, like a bottle opener.

Remember, this is something you would be carrying in your pocket most of the time so weight and size is a consideration!

Crawford’s Answer

My dream portable device probably isn’t that far away. Well…the combination of bits and pieces might be but the core of the technology certainly can be imagined.

It would be a small device…hopefully not much larger than a deck of cards. Visually it would be simple as well. I’d prefer for it to be black with a small screen. It would have ports hidden behind a panel (USB in AND out, power, earphones and headset). It would open up with one side being a larger screen and the other a keypad (not qwerty keyboard!) with tiny joystick. When closed and the outside screen off I’d want it to be very unobtrusive, elegant, simple and most of all…clean.

The main functionality of the phone would be a connection device. Be it Bluetooth, Wi-fi or some other new and unknown connection method I’d want it to be able to connect to any network out there. If I’m in my car it should be able to play music through the car speakers (it has a large HD…maybe 30 gigs). If I have it at home it should be able to connect to my wireless internet and communicate with my computer(s). The USB in plug would allow me to hook up a keyboard for ease of typing. The USB out could connect me to a computer that isn’t on a wireless network.

Of course it would make phone calls…it is basically a phone after all. But it’s connection power would be the integral part. It could hold and transport files and allow me to view anything you put into it…be it a spreadsheet, word document, picture, video…anything.

No, it would not have a camera. I know that’s against the grain but I prefer a separate device for that. No it wouldn’t have a full keyboard…it’s huge level of connectivity to a variety of devices would negate the need for that. GPS…probably, but I’d want it to be fairly simple. But it would be able to connect to a full on GPS unit or provide GPS information to a computer/laptop/car.

But the one little thing I’d want the most…the one crucial bit of kit that would make it totally awesome for me would be…

A flashlight! A good, strong, LED, bright, powerful handy flashlight.

Moe’s Answer

Pretty much everything I’d want in a portable device already exists at some level, what I would want is to make it smaller, better, faster and have better battery life.

My device would be a phone, GPS, Pocket PC, camera, MP3 player and more.

I obviously wouldn’t want it to be large, my idea size would probably be something about the size of the current generation iPods or the size of my Treo, maybe a bit smaller. It would need to be decent size because I would want it to have a good sized screen for watching video, viewing images, doing any work that would need to be done on it. It would not have a full size keyboard on it, just your standard phone keypad. Instead of having a full QWERTY keyboard it would have one of the laser keyboards built into it so when you needed to sit down and enter some serious data, write an email, etc. you could do so comfortably. I would want the whole interface to be something revolutionary and awesome, like the new iPhone but even better.

It would have a camera, something decent, lets say at least 3 megapixels. I will always have a real camera but sometimes having a camera on your phone comes in really handy. Of course most cellphone cameras suck but with 3 megapixels onboard I’d be able to take pretty decent pics. As long as we are talking about recording things, I would also want it to be a halfway decent sound recorder. Nothing to fancy here but something halfway decent.

I have gotten into Geocaching so I would love to have a phone that is also a GPS. They are out there now but they are kinda crappy from what I have read. I would want to power of my Garmin GPS on my phone. I’d want the GPS to be able to navigate city streets, tell me what Chinese restaurant are in whatever area I am in, tell me where the nearest ATM or gas station is etc.

I’d want my device to also replace my ipod. So I would like at least a 60 gig hard drive on board, hell, since this is a fantasy device, lets make that 200 gigs. I have a ton of music so the more storage space the better. I would want the player quality to be at least equal to an iPod, better would be great.

I would want standard computer stuff to work on the device. I’d want to be able to check email, surf the web (at broadband speeds), manage my contacts, play some games, etc. Pretty much anything a Pocket PC or Palm Pilot can do, my device would do.

For battery power I would use something most people probably have never heard of. My phone would run on a tiny internal combustion engine that runs of butane. Yes, you read that right, check out this link for more details. Ever running low on power? Just squirt some butane in that puppy and you are good to go, no need to ever wait for your device to charge, no more having to deal with chargers, etc. It’s such a beautiful idea.

It would be able to play video and receive over the air television as well, which is why I would want a decent sized screen. Now I would never go home and watch video on it. But when I was commuting to the city everyday it would have been really nice to have been able to watch some TV show that I missed the night before, or to have been able to watch the news on my way home. It would also come in handy on planes. You get the idea.

Of course it would also be a phone. Not much to say here, it would have everything you’d expect in your phone as far as phone abilities go. Speaker phone, call waiting, caller ID, etc.

The phones primary connectivity would be Bluetooth but it would also have to have a USB port on it for those time when I am at computer that isn’t Bluetooth capable.

Pretty much, I would want my device to combine all those little devices that you can carry around in your pocket now into one mega device. The best part, my phone would only cost $99.99

I also agree with Crawford, a flashlight would be nice.

The scary thing is, I won’t be the least bit surprised if we have a device like this in five years. I will be downright shocked if we don’t have a device like this in ten years.

Moe’s Answer

I had a hard time coming up with an answer, there are just so many choice. The song has gotta get you pumped, it’s gotta be rocking, and it just has to be bad ass. I considered Master of Puppets, which one of the giants uses and it just has a kickass beginning. I really considered Motley Crue’s Kickstart My Heart which is just about the definition of a getting pumped up song. I briefly considered AC/DC Thunderstruck.

I recently heard the song that I chose and it just brought back some great memories of 8th grade and it just has some serious bad ass lyrics. My choice is Guns N’ Roses, Nightrain. Check out these lyrics:

Well I’m a west coast struttin’
One bad mother
Got a rattlesnake suitcase
Under my arm
Said I’m a mean machine
Been drinkin’ gasoline
An honey you can make my motor hum
I got one chance left
In a nine live cat
I got a dog eat dog sly smile
I got a Molotov cocktail with a match to go
I smoke my cigarette with style

Juvenile? Yeah probably. Kickass? You betcha.

Crawford’s Answer

My theme song… My my, this is a tough one. Would I want to do something traditional? I think so because it would have to rock and something strange like Bubble Toes by Jack Johnson wouldn’t quite cut it and Aqualung by Jethro Tull would be…well…strange. It would have to not only rock but make sense too…which pretty much kills anything by R.E.M.

I’ve made my choice. It’s Master of Puppets by Metallica. It doesn’t fit me at all nor could ever fit the situation. But those two facts make it VERY fitting thank you very much.

So if you had to be a Transformer…either Autobot or Decepticon…what would you transform from? And none of this tiny handgun turning into a giant robot…the (somewhat) realistic laws of physics still apply. That means a tiny device would transform into a tiny robot. Everything and anything goes…but if you do choose an animal it would not look real…it would be a cyborg-mechanical looking beast.

Crawford’s Answer

Type: Mi-24 Hind (Russian attack helicopter)
Name: Iron Curtain

My original thought was a car or truck. I was torn between something like a Porsche 911 Turbo or some giant construction vehicle. I wanted something that could (at least in concept) be able to cruise into a “normal” environment with stealth…no one would question a vehicle driving into some place when WHAM it transforms into a giant ass-kicking robot.

But the more I thought about it the more I realized I wanted a military vehicle. I wanted something with brawn in it’s transformed state as well as its robot state. I also wanted something that would stand out (and totally reverse my original concept of something stealthy). So I chose the Mi-24 Hind. It’s a Russian attack helicopter from the Cold War era and looks absolutely menacing. I’ve never seen another helicopter that looks so destructive and powerful. It symbolized the power of the Russian army and the thought of thousands of those beasts flying over Germany starting of WWIII is a downright terrifying one. Plus…it’s a historic piece of Russian military hardware.

Of course I would be a Decepticon. There is no question about it…Russian military? Obviously! Iron Curtain wouldn’t be the fastest or the best strategist but what he lacks in those assets he more than makes up in durability and outright firepower. Always one to be at the forefront of a battle he never retreats. Unfortunately his pride has been known to get him into trouble at times.

Moe’s Answer

This is kind of a weird question and one that I had a hard time coming up with an answer for. My first thought was car, it would cool to be a badass sports car just to drive fast and whatnot. Being a car would also make you a pretty decent sized robot of destruction. But cars are kinda boring in this sense.

My next thought would be to be something small so that I could sneak into places and easily disguise myself. I was thinking something like a cell phone or an ipod or something along those lines. But I quickly got rid of this idea. I wouldn’t want to be something that can move around in it’s non robot form. Plus, I’d want to be a big robot of doom which makes little things a non-option.

I finally settled on a F-35B . I’d be able to fly, be stealthy, kick serious ass in either my normal form or robot form, hell, I’d have built in machine guns and rockets. I’d also be super fast, I’d be able to go over the speed of sound. And just to make myself even cooler the F-35B can hover, so it can take off and land vertically. Of course there still is the robot form. Being that I would be a fighter jet I would be fairly large which would make for an impressively sized robot. I would also have lots of weaponry since I already have a lot in my jet form.