Poke Me In The Eye

I used to watch “Inside the Actors Studio” religiously and one part of the show that I always enjoyed was the questionnaire that is inspired by Bernard Pivot in which the host, James Lipton, asks the following questions of all his guests.

• What is your favorite word?
• What is your least favorite word?
• What turns you on [creatively, spiritually or emotionally]?
• What turns you off?
• What is your favorite curse word?
• What sound or noise do you love?
• What sound or noise do you hate?
• What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
• What profession would you not like to do?
• If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

Moe’s Answers:

What is your favorite word?
Smorgasbord

What is your least favorite word?
Grok

What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
A nice pair of buns.

What turns you off?
Ignorance

What is your favorite curse word?
Fuck. It just has so many uses.

What sound or noise do you love?
A rumbling V8

What sound or noise do you hate?
Whining.

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Race car driver.

What profession would you not like to do?
Politician.

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
You were wrong, but come on in. Mem and Pep are in room 222B. Hendrix, Morrison and Lennon will be performing tonight. Here are the keys to your Ferrari.

Crawford’s Answers:

What is your favorite word?
Reciprocity. I’m not exactly sure why…I think it is partly because of the way it feels when I say it out loud. Partly is that I first heard it in a pretty cool movie (Clear and Present Danger). Finally it the definition is fitting…. “mode of exchange in which transactions take place between individuals who are symmetrically placed, ie they are exchanging as equals, neither being in a dominant position.”

What is your least favorite word?
Disrespect. I’m so sick of the way this word is used in language these days. It’s tossed around with little meaning nor feeling…it’s become slang and I don’t like it!

What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Completion of a difficult task. I know that sounds a bit odd but there is no greater feeling to me than when I’ve been working on a troublesome project and having it turn out perfectly.

What turns you off?
Conversely…being unable to complete a difficult project. It drives me nuts and leaves me frustrated and unhappy when my efforts at creativity cannot solve the issue.

What is your favorite curse word?
Fuck if I know.

What sound or noise do you love?
A ripping, snorting, beautifully tuned, screaming monster of an internal combustion engine. There is no sound, to me, that is more awe inspiring.

What sound or noise do you hate?
The buzzing of a persistent bug in my ear when I’m trying to sleep. It’s hot out, I’m sticky and gross feeling, I’m not tired enough to sleep but I know I have to…and that freaking insect is practically making a condo in my ear. It makes me want to scream.

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Writing would be pretty fantastic I feel. I’d love to be able to spend my days being creative with keyboard…but also being able to apply my knowledge and experience.

What profession would you not like to do?
Anything involving feces.

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
You can go back if you want.